Hmm, okay, it has been months since i last update my blog. Sorry about that. Now exam has over! That means i got plenty of time to blog. :D The MEEEEEE now is no longer the emo one kay. No more crying for 'him'. Although i still miss him, but well, just miss, no longer want him back. I just wish that he can be happy forever. That's all i want from him. Now, I'm happy with my friends. Single so what? After making use to it, it isn't that bad ya. (: I guess the next thing that might upset me will be the result and also the streaming. i don't want to separate with my friends in 2E1. Of course, i don't wish to be in the same class with some of them. Just some. Hmm, not hate but dislike. And, ya i think i will be damn tired because of trainings. :x The trainings are gonna be tough ya. Die. OMG, can't imagine.

Hello people.. I think i really dam long never update my blog le. Anyways, it is like nobody is coming to my blog or maybe just that i don't know. So, i will still post but not as much. It the first post for July, and ya, it will be still about him. He is eventually all that is deciding my everyday mood.. I think i do not need to say more about it, my Facebook is flooded with status about him. Thanks for all those who tried to cheer me up, but im sorry that i eventually did not. I'm much better than last month already, don't have to worry too much ya. :D I'm...alright. I only wish he can be happy.. Haha, silly ya? Bobian.

Holding on to the past while living in the present.

Hi hi hi. I know i very long never update already, i did not use comp that often so forgive me ya! :D Well, time really flies, coach has left and a new coach will be coming when school reopen. Just hope the new coach won't be too harsh on us. :/ Okayy, this few days as my mum came to s'pore, i shop a lot. Lol. Bought a lot too. Ahahaha (Y)! But those will be my birthday present already. Nevermind~ Hahaha. At least it stops me from using the money for my birthday present on someone.. Someone whom i always think about. Alright, really nothing to update about already! Life is just too boring without you. Lol. So i edit some photo. XD

Back to square one.

hi hi hi. I'm back here. hahaha. Didn't use comp for like one week? X) Playing my new phone uhh, can use wifi. Here i'm to update(: Well, it will be a sad sad sad post again. Because~ I saw him today! After a long time since i last see him in school before holidayyy. He came back for training today, as a graduating senior. He did not change much, the way he talks, the way he walks, the way he plays basketball. Only one thing that changes, the attitude towards me. Wait, hmmmmm, i wonder why am i posting about him again when i said i'm going to move on for the previous posts? Haizzz. Sorry, i just can't...control. Okayy, sorry, i wanna continue... :l For now, i'm scared to see him, because it hurts more after long since i last see him. When i didn't see him for long, i'm doing alright... But everything changes when i see him, like today. When i walked pass him today, i'm shivering and idk why.. Today after training i went to tm, t1 and century square with michelle, lisa and ruiqi to buy materials and gift for coach's farewell party. When i was at t1's sports link, at the corner of basketball shoes, the scence you hug me suddenly replayed in my mind, automatically. It's like i can see the shadow of 'us'... I miss you, zy.s♥ 140411, i think i'm walking backwards on the road...

Once you love me so much, how you want me to accept the fact that you don't love me anymore?

You again.

I can tolerate anyone to call me bitch, except you. But seem like you don't know how much pain it cause when you call me bitch. So please, you don't know anything don't call me bitch. If you called me bitch because of what i did, fine, go ahead. Just don't scold me bitch for liking someone else. You don't understand how i feel. And poor thing, you have not forget me yet, not totally(: When you did, you will have no feeling for me, not at all, not even hatred. That is then called 'let go'. Byee.

FUN.

Today is saturday! Went to play basketball again, but played at bedok north blk 77 instead of 116. A lot of joke today !! Jin Long's unexpected shot, silence some more ! *Is he even intend to shoot? Hahaha, NO.* And Jeremin's 'ah gua' act, water only ! LOL. Joking joking. XD Today is just too...FUNNY ! Too many funny things happened today :l And then ! Our 3 main players- Jeremin, Jun Hui and Jin Long, played a 3-on-3 match with the people there ! Is was a nice match ! *CLAP* But our court was snatched by the people ! D: So we have to change place, went to 116 the 'lao di fang'. Played 4-on-4 all the way, and rest plus some gossip or disiao, i was the first target, wth?! Nvm nvm, they are always like that, BUT, can you please just shut up when someone else are there, GOH JIN LONG? You seriously dam 'chian bian' sia. But actually, i dam paiseh and embarrased that i did those idiot and bitchy things last year.. :x JUST DON'T MENTION ABOUT IT LAH, DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER. Then i went home, at 9, like OHMYGOD. And when i was on 197, i saw a stupid fellow, act cool but not cool, lol. Okayy, nothing else for today le, byeee !

When i was on the bus alone today, i wondered why didn't i think of you like i always do. Not that i've forgotten the fact that you've left, i remember how i felt when and after you decided to leave, and everything i have done to get you back. But i just don't feel sad anymore, not that painful, just a little bit of regret, regret of pushing you away, regret of missing a nice guy. But well, i guess i've already taken my first step, to move on. I dare not say i have moved on, but i'm moving on. And for those who think i'll target someone, get it right, i won't. 

Leaving.

Today is 03062011, it has been 77 days since he left. I waited for 77 days surprisingly... Hahaha, silly ya. I have tried many times to get him back, but i think all of the hope i see is just an imagination. With all the excuses i find for myself not to give up, I was hurt deeper. I just couldn't believe that he can forget so fast, let go so fast, when he once said i'm very important to him and i'll not know how important am i, and that i'm the first girl he cried for. Perhaps they are just all lies. But simply i just can't face the reality, until now. My days are just misearble before someone comes. I miss him everyday, everytime when i walked pass the place he once sit and waited for me, the place where we went together, places where we were once there, together. Everytime when i miss you i'll cry and even break down.. I hate it, it is tiring. I wanted to get rid of it but i couldn't. Now i can, by someone's help. I've not totally let go of you, i will but i won't wash away the memories belong to you and me. Memories should stay(: Okayyy, nothing much already ! Byeee !

Only you know♥  For the last time, listening to this song because of you.

Change

Heyyyy ! :D Have been a long time ago since i last update my blog. No mood :l But i'm okayyy right now and that's why i'm blogging again ! But i have changed the outlook of my blog, to avoid thinking of someone.. Hahaha ! He will never exist in my blog again. Alright alright, i won't continue to emo here. Now is the JUNE HOLIDAY !! But i guess there are no much fun, bored ttm please !! Luckily there are still training to keep me 'alive'. LOL. And hope i can faster get my new phoneee ! Seriously i can't live without a phone .___. Okayy, i really got nothing to say already ! Byeee !

To mummy:

Jacket
http://tw.page.bid.yahoo.com/tw/auction/f20142179?u=maymaylu24

Bags
http://tw.page.bid.yahoo.com/tw/auction/f22304771

http://tw.page.bid.yahoo.com/tw/auction/e48403128

http://tw.page.bid.yahoo.com/tw/auction/e45914138?u=fifilyfifily

http://tw.page.bid.yahoo.com/tw/auction/e47964784

http://tw.page.bid.yahoo.com/tw/auction/e48367624?u=cida.tw

I miss you.. I know it is my fault for not cherishing you when you are still with me, but it is not exactly all my fault.. I tried to prove to you that he tried to separate us and i got the prove, but you refused to read it and you even said i put words in people's mouth.. Or you didn't even ask him about it..? Just testing me whether i lied again? Testing, what a nice way of finding out the truth. But when you test me, did you notice that you are telling me indirectly that you still care about me..? I asked you about it, you did not reply and you suddenly appear offline. I login to my Facebook and saw you were online. My friend said you are 'melting', are you..? But you are not yet fully forgive me and that's why you are treating me like this..? Don't want to tell what are you thinking..? Hope it isn't just my thinking..

Baby, can you come back...? I love you a lot, sincerely.. 10 times more than last time..  

Tsk. Seriously don't know what to post. Lol. Nothing much to post... Has been treating him like a stranger this few days... It hurts when i see him being so close/happy with others... But well, i have to continue doing this... 'fan' uh... Omg. i don't know what to post already. To someone, sorry that i never mention you in this post... i didn't know what to mention about... 

Now is already March of 2011, time really flies... It has already been 1 year and a few weeks, unbelievable... But i can't believe i'm back there again. However, i'm not giving in this time as i know there won't be any outcome. Instead, i'm trying to move on to the next episode... But it's a tough one... I suppose it will be tougher than the previous time.... It hurts to see that he has no feeling for me but yet i will still smile when i see him... 

Tuesday's training I saw something weird but special! There is green colour water flowing in the drain beside the basketball court. I took a picture of it!



What to do? So confusing. You asked me not to care your feelings, but i can't. Maybe i should stay single and continue my simple life like last year December? Even though there won't be any outcome? At least nobody feels so painful to see the person he likes to go with someone else? Sigh.

 

Time to let go, of someone who isn't belongs to you. Time to move on to someone who really loves you. It will be better to be just friend with him perhaps.
Believe that he will heal your heart which has broken by him. 190211, Suah Yun Zhen♥

I wish time can rewind... I think i have made a wrong decision of skipping HCL because i'm planning to quit. But, well, it is out of my thought now, i can't quit it now, i've to wait till the start of term 3. They have already teached 5 chapters! I'm still wondering how am i gonna catch up. CA1 is on 24 Feb, yet i haven't even attend any of the lesson. I have left a bad impression to the teacher and i'm gonna attend the rest of the lesson with shame. Sigh.
Today is 12 Feb, 2 more days away from Valentine's day. I was single for this year's Valentine's, but i think it will be better than last year's. Last year's Valentine's day was just a...miserable memory. I was tear into pieces the day after celebrating Valentine's... How cruel. Anyway, hope i got Ferrero on this year's 14 Feb. Ferrero! ♥

Happy Chinese New Year to everyone ! Guess you all enjoyed your reunion dinner yesterday night. I don't have one but i have an awkward dinner. Haha. You all get a lot of ang bao right ! I only got $80 ! Don't make me jealous by telling me how much you get okay ! Anyway, i'm so bored at home ! I'm rotting at home ! Hope Saturday can go out ! Gee. I hate Chinese New Year since i come to Singapore. I got nothing to do during Chinese New Year. :(( And all of my friend need to visit their relatives! Today is just the 2nd day of the holiday! 2 more days to go, so long ~ Bored bored bored ! Omg ! Anyone can recommend songs for me ?! Rock songs or love songs ! Any nice de ! I'm so bored !

*updating for basketball tournament:
We won Bedok View with the score of 48-10. The last match will be playing against TKGS on next tuesday. Go bgss, for both boys and girls ! Boys, go for your 2nd round ! (:

This is the 3rd week of school, started to be anxious for CA1. Geography is bothering me, guess i have to put a lot more effort on it as the teacher isn't really helping me to understand the chapters.  In order to get a new phone, i must work harder ! Omg ! >~< my new phone uh !!! Ok, anyway, about this week mah, not very good but also not very bad. Skipped PE on monday because i was still on the bad mood for that idiot teacher. Lol. Oh ya, i am quiting higher chinese... I was informed that HCL doesn't apply to students who are going to Poly ! Can't deduct marks or take as L1. Like that i can go for training le ! xD Yeah ! 

Well, time really files, this is already the 2nd week of school, and it's ending soon... The 2nd week of school, is a completely unlucky week, things which made me experience maximun anger and sadness. Our 2nd match was played against Ngee Ann Sec, which matter our chance of getting into top 4. We lost to them. Our goal, our Taiwan Trip, is going further away... Even so, chance is still there, better than chance doesn't even exist. We shall stand up from where we fall, continue to fight for our dream. BG basketball girls B'div 2011, GO! ♥ Okay, hmm, not to mention the thing that fed me up, it is not suppose to be told. But i can really say, that, she is a completely bitchy girl, i don't seem why i should give a damn about her since she don't even respect me. Each time i see her after i was told about something, i felt sarcastic. Sigh. At least something can still bring me out of the anger, thanks to him(: to be with him as friends, is enough, though i wish i can be his, though i really miss him... Going 1 month, without any doubt on the feeling, amazing.

Well, second week of school has ended and have seen all of the semester one subject teacher, some of them sucks to the core! First, the PE teacher, not to mention his name, he is really poor at handling students. He conducts the lesson without planning one, keep changing the place, within one lesson he can go basketball court, parade square and field! He is really driving me crazy lor! Unlike Mr Loh, always tell us what is he going to teach us today. I miss him so much! Okay, still got one more! Geography teacher! His lesson is super freaking 'fun' luh! Long story. -.- I think everyone in my class get what i am trying to say. LOL. Okay, hmm, this week got quite many things happened... Good and bad things? Not to say further down. :D bye everyone.

First week of school have ended, a tiring week. Not because of lessons, because of the time i have to wake up everyday... I'm still not use to wake up so early in the morning, i want to sleep more! Anyway, our new form teacher, is awesome?! She is quite strick but caring and kind? :D But she had done a wrong decision, which is choosing Hoong as our class chairman, hahaha. Our subject teacher are also quite nice, except geog, his lesson is going too fast and complicated! I can hardly understand what is he talking about. Lol. AND, our ict teacher rocks+awesome! so basically my sec 2 class are okay, but well, i'm getting less confidence in my basketball... My basketball seem to deprove a lot also, under basket are not as accurate as before already, always waste the chances... I'm getting more and more dissapointed on myself, everytime when the ball doesn't go in, i feel like i'm a useless noob... Things are not going smoothly, everything is tough for me. Wanted to not to think about it but automatically it will come up to my mind...

Happy New Year ! 2011, wish everyone have a new start :D I have spend the last day of 2010 with some of the bball grils and Jun Hui Jin Long Jeremin Gabriel, at my house, the first time i countdown with friends. It's fun ! Hope next year will have it too. Forgot to take photo when we cheers, oops. Anyway, i love today(: it'll be an unforgettable one. Okay, that's all, goodnight all !!