Tsk. Seriously don't know what to post. Lol. Nothing much to post... Has been treating him like a stranger this few days... It hurts when i see him being so close/happy with others... But well, i have to continue doing this... 'fan' uh... Omg. i don't know what to post already. To someone, sorry that i never mention you in this post... i didn't know what to mention about... 

Now is already March of 2011, time really flies... It has already been 1 year and a few weeks, unbelievable... But i can't believe i'm back there again. However, i'm not giving in this time as i know there won't be any outcome. Instead, i'm trying to move on to the next episode... But it's a tough one... I suppose it will be tougher than the previous time.... It hurts to see that he has no feeling for me but yet i will still smile when i see him... 

Tuesday's training I saw something weird but special! There is green colour water flowing in the drain beside the basketball court. I took a picture of it!



What to do? So confusing. You asked me not to care your feelings, but i can't. Maybe i should stay single and continue my simple life like last year December? Even though there won't be any outcome? At least nobody feels so painful to see the person he likes to go with someone else? Sigh.

 

Time to let go, of someone who isn't belongs to you. Time to move on to someone who really loves you. It will be better to be just friend with him perhaps.
Believe that he will heal your heart which has broken by him. 190211, Suah Yun Zhen♥

I wish time can rewind... I think i have made a wrong decision of skipping HCL because i'm planning to quit. But, well, it is out of my thought now, i can't quit it now, i've to wait till the start of term 3. They have already teached 5 chapters! I'm still wondering how am i gonna catch up. CA1 is on 24 Feb, yet i haven't even attend any of the lesson. I have left a bad impression to the teacher and i'm gonna attend the rest of the lesson with shame. Sigh.
Today is 12 Feb, 2 more days away from Valentine's day. I was single for this year's Valentine's, but i think it will be better than last year's. Last year's Valentine's day was just a...miserable memory. I was tear into pieces the day after celebrating Valentine's... How cruel. Anyway, hope i got Ferrero on this year's 14 Feb. Ferrero! ♥

Happy Chinese New Year to everyone ! Guess you all enjoyed your reunion dinner yesterday night. I don't have one but i have an awkward dinner. Haha. You all get a lot of ang bao right ! I only got $80 ! Don't make me jealous by telling me how much you get okay ! Anyway, i'm so bored at home ! I'm rotting at home ! Hope Saturday can go out ! Gee. I hate Chinese New Year since i come to Singapore. I got nothing to do during Chinese New Year. :(( And all of my friend need to visit their relatives! Today is just the 2nd day of the holiday! 2 more days to go, so long ~ Bored bored bored ! Omg ! Anyone can recommend songs for me ?! Rock songs or love songs ! Any nice de ! I'm so bored !

*updating for basketball tournament:
We won Bedok View with the score of 48-10. The last match will be playing against TKGS on next tuesday. Go bgss, for both boys and girls ! Boys, go for your 2nd round ! (:

This is the 3rd week of school, started to be anxious for CA1. Geography is bothering me, guess i have to put a lot more effort on it as the teacher isn't really helping me to understand the chapters.  In order to get a new phone, i must work harder ! Omg ! >~< my new phone uh !!! Ok, anyway, about this week mah, not very good but also not very bad. Skipped PE on monday because i was still on the bad mood for that idiot teacher. Lol. Oh ya, i am quiting higher chinese... I was informed that HCL doesn't apply to students who are going to Poly ! Can't deduct marks or take as L1. Like that i can go for training le ! xD Yeah ! 

Well, time really files, this is already the 2nd week of school, and it's ending soon... The 2nd week of school, is a completely unlucky week, things which made me experience maximun anger and sadness. Our 2nd match was played against Ngee Ann Sec, which matter our chance of getting into top 4. We lost to them. Our goal, our Taiwan Trip, is going further away... Even so, chance is still there, better than chance doesn't even exist. We shall stand up from where we fall, continue to fight for our dream. BG basketball girls B'div 2011, GO! ♥ Okay, hmm, not to mention the thing that fed me up, it is not suppose to be told. But i can really say, that, she is a completely bitchy girl, i don't seem why i should give a damn about her since she don't even respect me. Each time i see her after i was told about something, i felt sarcastic. Sigh. At least something can still bring me out of the anger, thanks to him(: to be with him as friends, is enough, though i wish i can be his, though i really miss him... Going 1 month, without any doubt on the feeling, amazing.

Well, second week of school has ended and have seen all of the semester one subject teacher, some of them sucks to the core! First, the PE teacher, not to mention his name, he is really poor at handling students. He conducts the lesson without planning one, keep changing the place, within one lesson he can go basketball court, parade square and field! He is really driving me crazy lor! Unlike Mr Loh, always tell us what is he going to teach us today. I miss him so much! Okay, still got one more! Geography teacher! His lesson is super freaking 'fun' luh! Long story. -.- I think everyone in my class get what i am trying to say. LOL. Okay, hmm, this week got quite many things happened... Good and bad things? Not to say further down. :D bye everyone.

First week of school have ended, a tiring week. Not because of lessons, because of the time i have to wake up everyday... I'm still not use to wake up so early in the morning, i want to sleep more! Anyway, our new form teacher, is awesome?! She is quite strick but caring and kind? :D But she had done a wrong decision, which is choosing Hoong as our class chairman, hahaha. Our subject teacher are also quite nice, except geog, his lesson is going too fast and complicated! I can hardly understand what is he talking about. Lol. AND, our ict teacher rocks+awesome! so basically my sec 2 class are okay, but well, i'm getting less confidence in my basketball... My basketball seem to deprove a lot also, under basket are not as accurate as before already, always waste the chances... I'm getting more and more dissapointed on myself, everytime when the ball doesn't go in, i feel like i'm a useless noob... Things are not going smoothly, everything is tough for me. Wanted to not to think about it but automatically it will come up to my mind...

Happy New Year ! 2011, wish everyone have a new start :D I have spend the last day of 2010 with some of the bball grils and Jun Hui Jin Long Jeremin Gabriel, at my house, the first time i countdown with friends. It's fun ! Hope next year will have it too. Forgot to take photo when we cheers, oops. Anyway, i love today(: it'll be an unforgettable one. Okay, that's all, goodnight all !!

Well, today is the day i am going back to Singapore, i am here to inform my readers that i will not be posting or online facebook and msn anymore until my sis is back too, i am not bringing the laptop back with me this time. I will be forcusing on basketball. Basketball girls, all the way! ♥

think of you last night before sleeping, dream of you this morning before waking up from the last sleep in Taiwan of 2010, cried for you when i was awake... everything was about you at the last day of 2010 in Taiwan but everything in your mind was that girl... well, you asked me to be more mature when you see me next year. I have already put our photo in my wallet, always remind me of your words...

Today is a tiring day, went out to somewhere we are not familiar with. Couldn't find the way, spent 30mins or 1h more then reach the destination... Anyway, i get another new shoe again, haha. Nike this time, from a Nike outlet ♥ I already bought 3 shoes from Taiwan, omg, don't know if i was able to bring back to S'pore! Not only shoe, still got shirts and 2 bags... This coming Sunday, i will be back to S'pore! It's weird that when i was in S'pore, i miss the friends here and when i was in Taiwan, i miss the friends there. I miss him no matter where am i... But i am regret that i met up with him, maybe not for a little, at least talked to him like a normal friends after 3 years, long 3 years... Haizzz, should i meet him again next year? Hope i will be totally get over him next year, totally... Orh! Today bgss boys and girls played the first match for Geylang Serai, don't how was the girls' match, boys owned Piooner(?) Sec by 25 points, good job! Strive your best for the rest of the matches, for both boys and girls!♥ Okay, my post for today ends here, bye!

I want to know what is love, what is love? It's stupid to ask this question i know, but it seem like i don't know what is love actually, and i stead with people without even knowing what is love, true love. I always thought i love someone, but what i see now, the fact is that i don't even know what is love and the person i really loved before. Now everything seems unclear, i was lost. When you heard someone said, 'i like someone', and you cried, what does it means? When you think that you like him but when he rejects you, it doesn't hurt, what does it means then? Why the mind and the heart isn't the same? Why he still can hurt me after so long? I thought i have gave up on him when we are so far away. I thought i will be fine, no, i thought i am fine, just not to see him for months or a year. But what i feeling now, is not like what i thought, not at all. What is my heart thinking? Can't it connect to the mind? Can't it let me know at that moment? Why must it hide that for so long until now when i can't regret anything, anything that i did wrong in the past, anything that wasn't what my heart thinking, wanting to do. Who do i really love, for now? He or he, who? How to tell? Why am i crying for both of him? Or to me, he is just the important one, not the love one anymore? What is the fact? What is the fact...? I wish i can never ever need to think about him or him, both of them cause me pain. I wish i could forget them forever, forever, until i die... Can i just disappear from the world, or leave here and there to another place where no one knows me... what do i really want? Can i have my life without any love things? It's complicated... Love, got many kinds of love, mother's love, sibling's love, friend's love and bgf love... Which love am i having for XXX? Which love am i having for XX? Or i don't love either of them?

Don't think i am going to blog again, no one wants me to blog too. Blog to waste my time only, haizzz. I hate myself, no best friend, no one understand me, only someone who is so far away... People i care more, are not treating me as their important one, i am just a normal friend to them. I really strat to hate this world... so lonely...

post for yesterday

Went back to my primary school in Taiwan yesterday, feel so strange to be there 3 years later. Something was changed. I miss my class, my classmates but they were not there. When i went there, it was almost empty because no one there is someone i am familiar with. I suppose all of them don't miss our primary school, even friends during primary school... They got lots of new friends, closer friends now, except me, i am the odd one out who still miss the past in the primary school. I think of him when i go to some places where i spent with him... Well, i really miss him, a lot. Tomorrow is gonna to meet him, excited and scared...

school front gate

corridor to the hall

my class room is there! can't go up :(

I miss here, always report to here in the morning,

i always fell down when i was going to late! xD

I miss here the most,

the place with the memory of us when we were together.

Sweet.

Art classroom!

post for today

Meet up with him at 12 o'clock today, at the basketball court near our house... We got nothing to talk when we first see each other, so awkward... He said i still never change, same as when i was in primary school. I said ya, still so ugly. He said no, not about the look. He said, still so silly. >.< He asked me how many boyfriend i had after i go to singapore... i never answer... then i asked him the same question, he said two... But he said he don't like them a lot, never talk more about it... Then talk talk talk, so peace. I asked him to go home first, he don't reply me. Until my mom come and brought KFC for us, the burger was spicy! And he laughed at me, lols. He asked my mom why she sent me to singapore. I don't know why he ask this, so weird. Then my mom went off and left us alone again. But we have more topic to talk then. Getting closer and closer, but still different as 'that' time. I miss the past with him, just miss. He said he did think of our past too. I really miss 'them'! But it is just the past... I miss him, so much, even now. When i was leaving, he said he wants to see me grow more mature next year when he sees me. :) I still miss him now, after we said bye to each other, i never stop thinking of him... Haizzz.  

Oh my god. Why people thought my personal message and facebook status were written for ayf? Those weren't for him, weren't talking about him, not at all. Please, don't misunderstand, please... Don't talk about him with me too. Don't ask me what happened, i will get frustrated while i explain. So please, let me go, stop asking me the reason, stop asking me to think again, stop it. And i won't be friend with you, not because i am cruel. But it will be awkward for me, maybe not for you, if we continue to talk as friend, play as friend, go out as friend. It is better to be stranger. Okay, don't want to talk about it already! I have a letter to someone (:

Letter to _ _ _ _ _ _ _,

I have dissapointed you for the last few times and i have also lost your trust. I will walk my promise, not to break it, for this time. I know you don't trust me i will but i wish you can give me time to prove it to you. My facebook status, i mean it. Thanks you (: 

Bitch. Idiotic. Wasn't it your fault? Why must you find excuse to pull yourself out of that mistake and push it onto me? Even mummy said it was your fault but you still trying to find excuse. You are going too far. You are the one who started shouting. You said, i never ask you before i tell mummy we are ready but you already took your t-shirt and change cloth and you had finished your breakfast. You were ready but you are watching movie and you don't want to get out of that seat, weren't you? You don't dare to admit your wrong so you can only keep making up excuse to save your pride. Can't you learn to be mature? You are already going 17, young teenager. I believe there is no one who will trust you if you tell them you are 17. If today was daddy calling you, i swear you will not do this because you don't dare. By the way, do you know that people will fly into the rage when people calling you and you have no response? You bitch, don't dare to admit what you did. I said you never response when i called you and even sometimes when daddy calling you but you said i did the same and even more times than you. You really don't want your face already is it? Well, you can ask daddy whether your saying or my saying is correct, it will help you to throw away your face! I dare you!